Los Angeles, San Fran., Corte Madera, Sonoma, San Diego, Palm Springs
OK, so I concede defeat. This first time blogger just couldn’t keep up. I had hoped to send a report from every city on my book tour for Religion Gone Bad but the nights were short and the days were packed with media interviews, radio talk shows, bookstore signings, taxi rides, rushing up and down airport concourses, checking in and out of hotels, meals-on-the-run, and endless airplane flights. I just couldn’t keep up. Here’s a summary of the “adventures of Mel” in the six cities since Minneapolis.
Los Angeles: Home again with family and old friends. I spent the only free afternoon babysitting my grandson Sean who was sick with a fever. Erinn was teaching so Lyla and I joined forces to care for the newest member in our family. Just before the presentation at Book Soup (in Beverly Hills) son, Mike, text messaged me to say, “If you introduce me I’ll bolt for the door.” He and Erinn both hate it when I brag about Mike’s impressive accomplishments as a filmmaker or Erinn’s amazing success as wife, mother, grad student and elementary school teacher. Several of Mike’s Hollywood friends joined him at the signing. Lyla, who is Executive Director of the Pasadena Playhouse, brought members of her staff. Granddaughter Katie represented Erinn and Terry who were home with Sean.
I know you blog readers don’t care about these personal details, but having the whole family enthused about my new book and anxious to support its release is a symbol of prayers answered and fears allayed. My autobiography, Stranger at the Gate, tells the story of those years when I was certain that the struggle to accept my homosexuality would destroy our family and ruin the lives of my children. I prayed daily that somehow God would get us through those dark, difficult days. This visit to Los Angeles reminded me again how God had answered that prayer. There is no way to ignore the fact that the separation and divorce were painful to Lyla and the kids. But through it all, they never stopped loving and supporting me and I am forever grateful.
San Francisco: The bookstore on Market Street just blocks from the Castro was jammed with old friends and new. Richard Baltzell, once my agent/editor/muse and for at least 40 years my friend was there with his partner Chuck Gee. Corey Hidelbaugh, a very special Soulforce volunteer (now beginning his first year at Pacific School of Religion) was present. Corey and his partner Jared moved to Lynchburg without being asked to help us in our work for justice with Falwell and the students at Falwell’s Liberty University. Kara Speltz, the amazing activist who handles my email overload and other Soulforce friends and supporters also came to cheer me on.
I wish I could name all of you who came to the signings, faithful donors whose names I couldn’t remember, old friends with wrinkles, white hair, and sagging waist lines who reminded me of the times we spent together during decades past, and readers of Stranger at the Gate who told me with tears in their eyes how the book had given them hope and even saved their lives.
While walking through the Castro en route to the signing, a middle-aged man in suit and tie passed me looking scared, lonely and entirely out of place. I saw myself in his eyes and remembered my own fearful visits to the Castro (just 60 miles from my home in Santa Cruz) when I was both terrified and exhilarated by the sight of gay men holding hands and lesbian women strolling arm in arm. I never dreamed that one day the terror would be replaced by joy and I would return to that gay ghetto as a proud member of the Queer community.
But I have to admit that entering one of America’s gay ghettoes also left me feeling uneasy and a bit fearful for what might happen here and in other of our gay ghettoes across the US if we don’t wake up to the dangers that could lie ahead. In Religion Gone Bad I tell the story of a secret meeting in 1994 attended by 54 leaders of the Christian right determined to work out their long term solution for America’s “homosexual problem.”
Paul Cameron, a psychologist discredited and denounced by the American Psychological Association for his misuse of data, was one of the keynote speakers at the secret meeting in a castle in the Glen Eyrie conference grounds in the foothills above Colorado Springs. “Unless we get medically lucky,” he had said a few years earlier, “in three of four years, one of the options discussed will be the extermination of homosexuals.” Former Surgeon General C. Everett Coop, himself an evangelical, warns us that Cameron was recommending the extermination option as early as 1983.
Journalist Mark E. Pietrzyk writes in the New Republic, “At least twice Cameron has advocated the tattooing of AIDS patients in the face so that people would know when they were meeting with an infected person. The penalty for trying to hide the tattoo would be banishment to the Hawaiian island of Molokai, a former leper colony. In the event that a vaccine was developed to prevent AIDS, Cameron has proposed that homosexuals be castrated to prevent them from ‘cheating’ on nature.”
Cameron has called for gay bars to be closed and gays to be registered with the government. In spite of the fact that the Southern Poverty Law Center calls Cameron “…one of the most thoroughly discredited researchers in America” it is Cameron’s data that is still used by Dobson, Robertson and the others to caricature and condemn lesbians and gays. When you read or hear the ridiculous statistics about us they probably originate with Cameron. It was Cameron himself who was called to address the leaders of the Christian right in 1994 gathered to create a strategy that would demean and dehumanize us, deny us our civil rights, and drive us back into the closet.
In Religion Gone Bad I describe that strategy and show how one-by-one the Christian fundamentalists are meeting their goals for us. What happens to us if terrorists explode a dirty bomb and close down a major American city? What happens when Falwell, Robertson, Dobson and the others rush to blame us for the tragedy? What happens if the President declares martial law and we are denied our basic rights while barbed wire is being strung up around our ghettoes?
I think the most dangerous rumor going around these days are these four words: “It couldn’t happen here.” I want to quote that Jewish mother who brought her children to meet “gay people” in 1994 when we were fasting in front of Dobson’s headquarters.”Last time they took you first,” she said. “And I just don’t want that to happen again.”
I end the Preface to Religion Gone Bad with these words: “I hope I can persuade you that the struggle for ‘gay rights’ is the next stage in the broader struggle for civil rights in this country. Consciously or unconsciously fundamentalist Christians are using their anti-homosexual campaign to see how much intolerance the American people will tolerate. The intolerance must end. By working to achieve liberty and justice for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans, we are actually working to preserve and protect liberty and justice for all Americans. This is the time to rediscover our own progressive moral values, reclaim the spiritual high ground, and resist those who demean and dehumanize any of God’s children. This is not just a struggle to win civil righs for gay Americans. It is a struggle against fundamentalist Christianity (to use their words) “for the heart and soul of the nation.” It is a struggle we dare not lose.
I listened to you on WNYC today talk to Mr. Lopate and found the dialogue very interesting. You seem like a reasonable man, but there was one thing you said that bothered me tremendously…
When discussing opposition to gay rights, Mr. Lopate brought up Hasidic Jews, and in part of your reply, forgive me if not exact, you said “Thank God for the Reform Jews” because they are basically on the same page as you with regard to homosexuality. The implication, it seemed to me, was that any other group of Jews is equally intolerant of homosexuals as the fundamentalists you complain about. I am an “Orthodox” Jew (though I prefer the term “Observant”) and want to tell you that I do not feel that way at all - nor does my husband, nor does anyone that I have ever come across in my synagogue. While I may not agree with the government sanctifying gay marriage, I have no problem with equal rights for gays, and equal benefits and recognition for their partners. Your comment on groups who select portions of Leviticus while ignoring others is correct - I always laugh when Christians do that because if they did look at everything they’d be eating Kosher food! I guess what I’m trying to say is I understand your quest for equality and to not be judged, but please do not judge whole groups of people and assume that you know how we feel.
Comment by Esther — September 25, 2006 @ 5:25 pm
Dear Mel,
I was just checking up on some of my favorite queer activists and i came across your new book. I think thats amazing. I just want you to know that you inspired me to write, which i did a considerable amount of in prison. Your words of advice, your strength gave me a lot of hope and courage to remember during my time in the hands of the monstrous prison-industrial complex. I just wanted to say thanks. And if i could i would love to send you some of my writings when I’m done.
p.s. you were right, i was in the best shape of my life in prison. oh and, i hope gary and bentley are well.
love,
donte
Comment by Donte Warren-Smith — September 28, 2006 @ 1:12 pm
I am really sick of the hypocracy in this country. We are deluded into thinking we are the greatest but when it comes to helping people in need our political leaders do not seem to care. Bush and the rest are the anti Christs and history will not look upon them kindly. I listen and watch just about anything I can hoping for some good news and it just all seems so negative. Hopefully the upcoming election will change some of that.
Comment by Jerry Deasy — October 20, 2006 @ 1:04 pm
I’ve yet to read “religion gone bad”, but I personally know the damage done by the radical Christian right. I came out to my family over a year ago and sadly, my relationship with them has become strained. Like many in the Christian community, my mother and step-father bought into the whole “ex-gay” movement, even going so far as to attend a few meetings for a local group here in Denver.
I am partnered with a wonderful man, with whom I’ve agreed to share my life. I feel my life is so much more complete with him in it. I love him so strongly that I can’t imagine life without him. But my family doesn’t understand this. My partner and I exchanged matching wedding bands over a year ago as a symbol of our commitment to each other. But my mother has asked me not to wear mine in her home and if my partner’s name comes up in conversation, she quickly changes the subject or completely shuts down. This is my life now, and I feel like they want no part of it.
What angers me the most is that fat wind-bags like Falwell and others encourage parents to reject their gay children in the hopes of turning them straight. Such hate coming from a man who claims to love God?! I don’t see much love there.
What scares me is the idea of guys like this gaining significant power. It’ll be Nazi Germany all over again and like Germans in the early ’30’s, Americans won’t see the danger until it’s too late to stop it. God help us all.
Comment by Matthew Click — October 23, 2006 @ 8:42 pm
I want to explain to Esther the first commentator that the government cannot sanctify marriage because both the government and legal marriage are secular institutions. Most heterosexual married couples have their marriages sanctified by clergy at the same time that they get legally married. Others choose a strictly legal marriage by a justice of the peace or a legal clerk. Still others choose a strictly religious marriage performed by clergy “in the eyes of God” which is not legally binding. A lot of gay and lesbian couples do get married, but it is a strictly religious marriage that is not legally recognized. If the government does legalize same sex marriage, clergy who do not believe in it will NOT be forced to perform it, just as the government cannot prevent same sex couples today from getting religious marriages when the union is accepted by their religion. I think it is important to point out that a civil union is not another name for the legal institution of marriage, because I think a lot of people are confused on that. A civil union grants some of the same legal rights as legal marriage but not all of them, which means that same sex couples who are joined in a civil union are treated as second-class citizens under the law.
Comment by Adele — October 29, 2006 @ 11:57 am
Dear Rev White,
I watched Book TV today, Nov 5th, and you made me cry…I will buy your book ASAP!!
I am a white, heterosexual, married woman (26 yrs) who has many gay friends…many have been in long-term relationships that I have always considered “married,” especially in the eyes of God.
I lived in the northeast for many years and now live in a small town in a very red state (SC) and to see and hear how some of the “religious-righties” speak really upsets me. I grew up Catholic — I was taught to love one another.
I wish that “people of faith” could accept the gay community as the wonderful people I know that they are.
this is what is on our ballot in SC this Nov 7th:
http://www.dumbamendment.com/
I decided to help out the SC Equality Commission at county and state fairs to help inform people what this amendment really means.
“Hate is NOT a family value!”
The other day, one woman told me that her church decided that voting FOR this amendment would start us on a “slippery slope” towards more discrimination…that is truly something in this area of the state, IMO.
Let’s hope it spreads!
God Bless you, Rev. White!!
Thank you!
Comment by peg — November 6, 2006 @ 6:10 am
Dear Dr. White,
I watched your book promo om BookTV last weekend, which I found enjoyable, informative and very disturbing. My husband(an Argentine)and I are agnostics because we find that organized religion, particularly Christian fundamentalism (and of other religions) is basically marketing and big business. We wholly disdain the hypocrisy.
I quite enjoy Andrew Sullivan (he also was on BookTV this past weekend) whenever he appears on TV and like to read his blog.
I suppose I can empathize with the gay community because I was born with Cerebral Palsy and had to confront many challenges in my life, so I’m an avid cheerleader for the GLT community and am encouraged to see more “coming out” in spite of disapproval, retribution, and discrimination that is so often encountered.
Just as racially mixed marriage was so condemned 40 years ago, eventually society slowly began to accept it, and I think as society is exposed to gays and gay marriage, eventually it, too, will become quite accepted. Then society will surely find another “moral” issue that will be disturbing and distracting. Don’t you think?
My biggest concern is how “theocratic” this country has become. Hopefully, that will also change with time.
Your courage is great and is greatly needed. Peace be with you!
Comment by Amber Del Vitto — November 7, 2006 @ 1:27 am
i totally agree with mel white about the christian right in american society today. they have become a political religious beast that seeks to steam roll and devour all who do not agree with their agenda. theocracy is the goal. the right totally ignores the constitution in their quest for more and more political power. they are a dangerous “opiate of the people”. there is a face behind the right wing clown and it ain’t pretty. lets stop the insane clown posse of the right…………pam mata
Comment by pam mata — November 7, 2006 @ 7:21 pm
I’ve been reading the book and am nearly done with it. I know that my gay life has been hindered, perhaps unalterably, by the ….I don’t want to call them Christian Right. They’re not right and they’re not Christian. I don’t know what they are other than what Mel calls them fascists. I’ve run into these guys all over the place. They’ve made every attempt to keep me down. To shut me up. To frighten me with nasty-grams and such. I’m not afraid any more. But I am grateful for many things in my life…and it’s that gratitude that keeps me sane. The evil that opposes my being gay has no concept of the divine in this world or the next. They’re convinced they know what is best for me. How arrogant is that?!?! Unbelievable. And yet, we’re saddled with these people in this world. I don’t have any reason to dictate to them. Let them believe what they want….pray in their churches and their homes. Practice their religion. But to tell me they know what’s best for me? They’re rude and uncouth, presumptive, obnoxious. And every generation on earth has had to contend with them in one form or another. They can’t be destroyed. They regenerate like some self-replicating biological machine of ignorance and hatred.
Thanks, Mel, for writing this book. Not enough people will read it. They should read it. But they won’t. Seeing Dobson on Larry King recently…wow, what a mess of a human being he is.
There isn’t a logical bone in his body. He’s a complete horror. Hasn’t questioned anything in his world since he accepted Jesus at the age of three.
When Jesus questioned everything!!! Amazing.
Comment by Barry G. Wick — November 24, 2006 @ 3:42 am
The religious right, wants marriage and family to be holy. They want men to be good husbands and wives to love their husbands. They want marriages to be strong, Biblical and holy.
You think those people are the next Nazi’s.
Your propaganda is working. Now Christians are labeled as hate crimes perpetrators and are being forced into real Ghettos. So many organizations are aligned against them, that the lines of Gays and secularists versus Christians cannot be hidden any longer.
Try to read the Bible the way it was written, in San Francisco? The parts where marriage is exclusively man and woman. It was first re-affirmed by Christ Jesus. Mobs will scream and threaten you.
The Ghettos are well-defined for Christians. Their private homes. And only that for a short time. Even now, the ACLU supports “complaince cordinators” in public schools, to make sure all children support homosexuality.
You’re a dangerous preacher Mel.
Comment by Al — November 26, 2006 @ 4:20 pm
What you are presenting Mel, is a new denomination. One, like many others, that chooses to believe false doctrine over sound Biblical truth.
If it were that simple, then people could have a clear and concise choice to make. You, on the other hand, do what you accuse the religious right of doing. You are forcing your religious views on society. You are also using secular courts to do it.
You have neither the Bible or the Constitution backing you.
Comment by Al — November 26, 2006 @ 4:29 pm
Dear Mel,
I would love to have your courage to do what is right. I am amazed, how you have the courage to speak up for gay rights and the energy to run around the country and write books. I am a quiet person. I realised that I must stand up for what is right and believed that God has put in my heart to come out of my own closest and to be His voice of hope and blessings and revelation of God’s love to the gay community I am in. But still very much trapped in my own closet.
Foo Keong
Singapore
Comment by Foo Keong — March 27, 2007 @ 10:25 am
If people like Mel White and Wayne Besen will seize political power, we will be like Communist Russia, where Christianity is banned and the Bible is forbidden.
Even if these liberal radicals win, homosexual sex will still remain immoral.
Comment by conservative rambo — October 21, 2007 @ 7:40 pm
Dear Mel White,
It deeply saddens me how the church has dropped the ball in regards to dealing with homosexuals. To say they have been bullied is an understatement. I recently learned that less than 1% of people within the church that believe homosexuality is a sin have prayed for those people and that is pathetic.
So I am going to pray for you.
And I am going to pray for all the other hurt homosexuals, because it was a painful road to get to that state of mind. No one really wishes to be gay - that is true. But you are leading these hurt people into a life of bondage to sin. The bible is most definitely a book about sexuality. Your statement against that truth is what really destroyed any accountability I was initially willing to give to you. All the verses that so clearly (even in the greek) state that homosexuality is a sin aside, the more I come to understand to true beauty and blessing that marriage between a man and a woman is, the more I’m convinced that homosexuality is a sin.
Sin is knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway. It is saying ‘not your way’ but ‘MY way’ to God in a most stubborn, rebellious fashion. I know that God does not bless such disobedience.
I’m going to pray for God to soften your heart and remove your bitterness. It’s apparent in all your writings. God calls us to forgive and I really haven’t seen evidence of you authentically forgiving anyone. Not that the groups you feel hurt by have thoroughly apologized, but we are called to forgive anyway, mainly for our own benefit.
I pray that one day (hopefully soon) you wake up to the reality that you are leading people at their most critical point down the road of sin and destruction.
Yes, the church is called to love. God does love homosexuals. Just like God loves divorcees. Just like God loves all those who are struggling with sexual sin and addiction.
God is a God of hope, and not death and despair. Those who truly want to overcome their struggles with the temptation to act on their homosexual urges can find healing within Christ. The healing is not through simply praying and petitioning for God to instantly take away their desires… but in obeying his laws and trusting him beyond their own understanding, that if they work to heal their heart, God can empower them to overcome their sinful ways. It doesn’t initially feel good to deny yourself the love from a man you feel you deserver and need. But relationships with others, especially in regards to romantic ones, are intended only to compliment the others’ life - not fulfill it. Only God can fulfill our needs.
I want to apologize on behalf of the church for not stepping up to the plate and encouraging those struggling with this. I’m sorry.
I just pray as one who is claiming Christ’s name that you realize fully what it is you are really doing. And I pray that soon you’ll see the damage you are doing.
I say this not in anger, but in despair. God has intended something much greater for your life and others that believe themselves to be stuck in their homosexual desires. You deserver that. So do all who come to you seeking the love and acceptance that the church should be extending to these people so loved by God.
- Lauren
Comment by Lauren — December 5, 2007 @ 4:19 am
A dear friend called me this evening and told me of this book. He began reading from it and time flew by. White pulls no punches. His perspective from being on the other side adds weight to his warning. Pity is the worst is yet to come. Beware the new Messiah on the left promising Castles in the sky.
Comment by C.Smalkowski — February 11, 2008 @ 2:50 am
Mel,
I agree with Lauren that the Church as a whole has indeed dropped the ball in ministering to the most downtrodden among us without shame and disgust.
I myself have been guilty of that, and I apologize.
It was so frustrating trying to relate, love and communicate with my brother who was a homosexual, and convinced that he was born that way. Only God can break through such deception and do the work of healing.
I am also deeply troubled that someone in your position is leading others down this confusing road.
Most teenagers having conflicting feelings about sex and love, and attachment issues due to lack of nurturing, dependency needs not being met, being prematurely stimulated by a porn-soaked, sexually-progressive culture, etc.
I hate the fact that 15-year-old boys and girls are being told they are homosexual because they have these issues. Once someone enters into such a relationship, it is much harder to deny such feelings: they become stronger. Whatever you feed grows, I’m sure you’ve heard before?
I don’t hate you or anyone else in this movement. I hate deception and the lies of the enemy robbing men and women of the internal and external beauty as individuals.
In Christ,
Carol Dennis
Comment by Carol — March 9, 2008 @ 6:28 pm